A Brief History of Venice

Venice is a city which grew rich on the backs of the spice trade, the crusades against the Turks and by supplying mercenary armies to the rival Italian city states that fought amongst one another for centuries to secure the luxurious trading contracts of the Mediterranean.

The venetians were famous as warriors, indeed in the 14th century it was compulsory for men to learn the crossbow and debtors were sent down to the galleys to row. Remember that the next time you go over your credit card limit.

Venice was built on wood imported from Russia as some genius discovered that wood doesn't decay under water. The lagoon could then be flooded whenever needed to repel invaders and the navy mobilised at short notice. It was only in later centuries that they realised the city had begun to sink and now there are any number of mad scientist schemes in the pipewords to save it.

With military prominence came the desire to show off a little and the aristocracy were generous to the starving artists, rewarding musicians and painters alike until Venice could boast of cultural riches to equal Florence. The artistic scene in Venice accompanied the atmosphere of decadence best exemplified in the Venice Carnival where one could sin from behind a mask.

Hardly the stuff to please the Catholic Inquisition but Venice never held much stock with the Pope and, in the height of righteous Catholic mania in the 16th century, Venice distingished itself by not executing a soul for heresy.

Shirtig trade routes with boats that could go all the way around Africa meant that Venice's power began to dwindle and it was a sinch for Napoleon Bonaparte when he conquered the town in 1797, eventually giving the town over to the Austrians. The first towel wars thus began on the beaches of the Lido and things remained quiet until the international hordes of tourists began their 20th century invasion, a brutal campaign that continues until today.